The healing power of connection

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the healing power of connection and the health benefits of being in community, and wanted to share some of the information I found while reading about this topic.

A few years ago, the former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared that loneliness is a public health crisis, and he spent a lot of time talking about how the erosion of community has serious consequences for our health and well-being.

While the pandemic contributed to this issue, it was certainly present before. American culture glorifies independence, self-reliance and the focus on individualism and when you add to this the hyper-connected digital moment we live in, it is no wonder that we are seeing more social fragmentation, isolation and loneliness.

Loneliness is not simply the absence of people; it is the absence of knowing we have someone we trust, and can rely on, the absence of being present with each other, and the lack of feeling connected even while surrounded by others. While individual therapy is a powerful tool to support our mental health it cannot stand alone, especially in cases where isolation is at the core of what is creating stress and sadness. If loneliness is the symptom, then community must be part of the cure.

One study I read about, looked at workplace wellness programs for supporting mental health. The ones that were most effective were those that included volunteering, offering charity, or participating in collective action, and showed better outcomes than ones that just focused on solitary self-care. Considering that for most of human history challenges had to be met collectively, this makes sense to me. Our nervous system is wired for connection and requires a shared response to life.

And sure, sometimes being in community and tending to close personal connections is messy or can be seen as inconvenient. There is value in having alone time to attend to your individual needs but if we are interested in supporting our overall well-being, this should not come at the expense of connecting with others. It takes effort to create loving bonds, but research consistently shows that strong, warm relationships and feeling that we are part of a community are among the most powerful predictors of long-term happiness and physical health.

This is illustrated in another study I read that looked at factors that contributed to a happy retirement. This Harvard study found that the biggest challenge for those struggling in retirement was not being able to replace the social connections that people enjoyed in their working lives. It showed that people who already had strong social networks or found ways to cultivate new connections did best during retirement and thrived as they aged.

Our health and happiness aren’t based on how well we stand alone, but on how deeply we are able to connect with and belong to one another. If you are thinking about supporting your mental health in the present and preserving health and satisfaction in the long-term, then finding ways to being intentional about creating connections and prioritizing community is essential.